What Self-Employed People Really Want (and Why It’s Not Always What You Think)
I have been asking of self-employed people a few simple questions about their work — what they enjoy, what they find challenging, and what they wish they had more of.
The responses were honest, varied and in many ways, very familiar
The Freedom We Choose
For many, the best part of being self-employed is clear:
“Not being told what to do.”
“Flexibility.”
“Freedom to choose who I work with.”
“Being in control of my own success.”
There is a real sense of autonomy — of shaping your work around your life, rather than the other way round. That freedom is often the reason people choose self-employment in the first place.
The Pressure That Comes with It
But alongside that freedom sits something else.
Unpredictable income
Chasing payments
Too much work… then none at all
Making decisions alone
“Not knowing where the next contract is coming from.”
“Getting clients to pay on time.”
The freedom is real — but so is the pressure. The two go hand in hand.
Trying to Find Balance
Finding a sense of work-life balance when you are self-employed can feel harder than expected. It is not just practical — it’s personal. The responsibility sits entirely with you.
I have written before about this idea of work and life not being so separate — that if work isn’t life, then what is? Because the two are co- dependent even more so when you run your own business.
Tools like the Wheel of Life can help. They give you a way to step back and look at different areas — health and wellbeing, finances, family, friends and business growth. You rank where things are and that can bring awareness.
But sometimes it can feel a bit flat. You’ve done the exercise, you’ve scored everything… and then what?
Without space to talk it through or reflect, it can leave you sitting with it on your own, knowing something needs attention but not quite knowing how to move forward.
Why Conversation Matters
That is where real conversation makes a difference.
Face-to-face networking can bring your work to life, especially when self-employment feels isolating. Most of us are not taking clients out for lunches or surrounded by colleagues, so those moments of connection matter more than we realise.
Networking can feel grounding. Not because you will necessarily walk away with work but because you are in a room where conversations happen, where you can share, listen and get a feel for what is going on around you.
Sometimes, it is not about selling. It’s about being in the room, having honest conversations and gaining insight and perspective on your own situation.
What People Really Wish For
When I asked what people would change — their “magic wand” answer — the responses were simple:
A steady flow of clients
More consistent income
Reliable people
Someone to talk things through with
Not complicated. Not unrealistic.
Just… steadiness.
Because underneath the freedom, self-employed people are looking for a sense of security, something that feels more predictable, more manageable.
Psychologically this is not surprising. Human beings are wired to seek safety and structure; without it, the mind works harder, not better. Research in behavioural science shows that uncertainty increases stress and makes decision-making more draining.
This is why steadiness matters. Not because people are less ambitious but because they need something solid to hold on to.
A Deeper Question
Not everyone is at the same stage.
Some are building and growing.
Others are maintaining something that works.
And some are beginning to slow things down or become more selective.
What we want from our work changes over time — but we do not often stop to think about that.
We do not always ask:
What do I actually want from this now?
That is often the missing piece; not more tools, not more strategies, but space to think things through properly.
Where Coaching Fits
Coaching doesn’t fix your cashflow or tell you how to get more clients — that’s your business. What it does is help you think clearly, so you can decide what’s right for you.
More strategies are not always the answer. It is choosing the right one that makes your time and effort more efficient and more effective.
Coaching gives you space to think clearly, make decisions and step back far enough to see what is really going on.
Sometimes the most useful thing is not more information…
it’s clarity.
If this feels familiar, and you want to get clearer on your next best step, let’s talk.